A quick thought.

I haven't been here for a few evenings but it doesn't mean I haven't thought about what to talk about or forgotten about my blog. I'm only here for a short time tonight but thought to mention something that may or may not have significance. After one of M's and my bigger disagreements, one of his reconciliation tactics or so it appeared to me, at least, was to elect me to volunteer myself to be a witness of a wedding. It was at a Sikh temple. M first told me about it as though it was a traditional marriage and it was an "option" for me to go see it. He said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to but he wouldn't go, it had to be just me. He had already spoken to his friend about it and they had agreed if I wanted to go, I was with his friend. Not "with" his friend, just to be clear, just with his friend.
I actually wanted to go. I thought it would be interesting to see even though I had seen things in Bollywood movies and I had enough understanding of Sikh culture to understand the differences and similarities. Please note that what I do know, the differences are very stark and I am not daring to compare the two. Most Bollywood marriages are Hindu based in origin.
My reason for bringing this up was that he WANTED me to go. He wanted me to see it, participate it in even though I was just a lookie-loo. I wasn't able to go because that night I was actually caring for him and I think that he wanted that in retrospect. I didn't get nearly enough rest and he ... well... he needed me that next day to care for him. The point that I thought was doubly interesting was that the marriage itself was an indian (Sikh) girl to a gora (white) man. This marriage was anything but traditional. He wanted me to see it and participate. Why??
It is not that we have not discussed marriage before. In truth, we have spoken of it a few times, maybe more than a few. He tells me that he is giving his life to me and I know that is a very big thing for him because he speaks as though he has full intention to stay with me, above everything else. Perhaps it is my own doubt in his words that makes me ask why? Perhaps it is my own belief in my culture, which is over 50% prone to abandonment of a relationship.